"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." - Henry David Thoreau

Sunday, February 6, 2011

...Worker Bee.

This marks my last posting as a SAHD*. As of 2/7/11, I will be again amongst the gainfully employed.

I'm not sure how I feel about that, to be perfectly honest.

I've spent the last year and a half sucking on the government teat (a.k.a. collecting unemployment insurance) while staying home to raise my young daughter. For the most part, it's been a terrific experience.  She's grown so much in the time I've been home with her. I love taking her to preschool and occasionally volunteering to be the teacher's assistant.** There, I am just another one of the Moms...only hairier and with slightly less makeup. There's dance class and swim class and trips to the library and Museum of Science. She loves it all.

Together we conquered diapers, pacifiers, fear of the dark and the big slide at the playground. And those were just my problems! *rimshot*

It's been the greatest time of my life watching her grow into this beautiful, funny and whip smart little girl. We make a great team, she and I. So, it's not without a little sadness and some serious soul-searching that I decided to get back into the workplace.

This begs the question: Why?

I don't exactly know. Money is one reason, although my financial contribution will be less than modest. Male ego? Not really. I'm pretty comfortable with not being the primary breadwinner in the household. Not bringing in any $$$, though is a bit emasculating. Factor in the desire to go someplace where I can talk to grownups during the day about things other than playdates, school fundraisers and who didn't invite whom to someone's kid's birthday party.
A job, though...?

A schedule, a time card, a boss and, the scariest part; dealing with OTHER PEOPLE???  I used to get panic attacks.  Bad ones, too.  Never had one while being at home with the Spawn.  Been feeling pretty anxious lately, I gotta say. Wife says that's normal when starting a new job.

I dunno. Can I get back into the life of a worker bee at my age? *checks liver spots*

Then, there's always the possibility it might be fun...

With me though, it's always been 'Hope for the best, but expect nuclear armageddon.' I intend to keep an open mind here. Just not so open that some stray seagull poops into my open cranium.

We. Shall. See.

When I found out that I got the job, I sat my daughter down and explained to her that Daddy was going back to work.  She paused for a moment and without missing a beat, she looked up at me and said, "But Daddy, who will take care of me?" That was immediately followed by the sound of my heart crashing to the ground.

I will miss my old job.  A lot.  The boss was really cool. Especially after she was potty trained.


**Shocking to anyone who knew me before I had a child. I am/was not a 'kid person.'

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations and good luck, Tom! Being a SAHParent is the most wonderful, most challenging job ever. It's hard to explain to those who haven't tried it, especially when you realize you're complaining about taking your child to the park or doing nothing but reading books all afternoon. I hope your new gig goes well and that it allows you enough flexibility to spend time at the preschool and the Science Museum and tea parties. You'll have plenty of chances to work full-time when your daughter's in college.